Several times on Friday, I thought I should have stepped away from the computer and called it good. I was in what I call “clarity mode” in the sense that I had felt threatened by more than one conversation I had, and was ready to duel to the death with anybody who crossed the line.
But, come what may, I have determined that while my frustrations were hardly veiled, and my exasperations may have been over the top, there are times where conventional conversation is no longer adequate.
Oddly, something as simple as blogging about something immediately intensifies the permanence of a statement. Suddenly a passing feeling could be known to characterize a person. A snapshot in time may be determined later to underwrite or color whole broad strokes of their life.
But while I started blogging to share things I had learned, and I continue blogging to try and help myself define who I am, one very palpable realization I have come to is that if anything, I am all of these things. The coordination of efforts, the blending of colors, the kaleidescope of perceptions.
A few phrases that come to mind as I consider this:
Maybe, my expressions of upset in this blog for various personal and professional reasons over the years will actually serve as anchor points to help you, the reader, but ultimately myself, to track better anchors along the way, the intersection of which should, logically, be who I really am.
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